Import from Multiply · Personal

God doesn’t just want me to be happy.

I was walking through the hallway at the third floor of dela Casa building. My right hand holding a piece of paper and the other two blue plastic CD cases. and three blue thick-realm folders. Beside me was my thesis-mate Moi and all I can think of is crying. This thesis won’t make me cry, I told my self.

The start of that day was already a battle. Waking up in the morning to be in time for our 8:30 call time with my adviser is the hardest thing on earth. I rushed to the bathroom and went straight to school but still lacked time management–arriving at 9am. We edit our paper until 12 and after a lunch break with friends and PH people, we decided to go back and edit our paper again.

Then, a harder battle happened.

We run through and fro the computer shop to other then print out thesis to finally pass it. The Globe’s unlimited call and text helped a lot. Nin and I were the one to print the paper while Moi was the one to run around and look for our panelist and sign our paper. When she called that Ma’am Nina signed it, we’re all fussing. It’s 3:30 and we’re beating a four-o’clock-deadline.

However, everything messed up. Our other panelist went home that left us with only one signature and after a long conversation with our adviser and RDD director, we finally accepted the defeat. We aren’t able to pass our ready paper because of two missing signatures. It broke my heart and I know, Nin’s too.

The walk at the hallway to the dean’s office was the critical condition. I wanted to cry for bitterness and anger but at the back of my mind, I am telling my self to be composed. That letter will save our goal–it will make us pass our paper on monday. In the Dean’s office, it was another downer because of the lack of signature but our dean was kind enough to sign it.

Going to the RDD director, I was full of bad vibes and when He finally signed on it, I felt a relief but also a still small voice telling me my defeat. Then, something happened. He uttered words that lifted my spirit up–we are nominated for the best thesis award.

Now, I understood why we didn’t passed out thesis on time–because God doesn’t just want me to be happy. He wants me to be the happiest. And true enough, we will never understand how God works. You might see your self troubled but at the end, everything works for good.

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