Have you ever stood at the middle of the street outside, not knowing where to go? Then you see people passing by, one after another but you’re just standing there in the middle. Everyone moves along while you’re stuck. Still. Glued on the floor.
I feel that right now.
First day of school. Everyone’s headed for their respective universities, trying to continue their lives. I’m just here watching Miami vs. Mavs. Your batch-mates going to work and I’m sitting in our house, making a blog. Just here, not moving.
I feel like people come and pass by me. Everyone’s headed somewhere and I’m standing and still–caught up in their movements.
That feeling; strange feeling. That thing that kept you wishing you are in school or have a job or a business. That feeling of being stuck while everyone’s leaving you behind.
Then, I realized my heart’s deceitful. It always weigh me down and bring me to a state of self-pity and sadness but the truth is, I am walking. I am going somewhere. It’s just that, not in the direction of the rest.
I’m currently “enrolled” in the School of Leadership and is being trained. Although life for me is like our batch song–one step at a time–my heart sometimes wish I was running. But, I know with hastening, you may fall and slip and stumble. But when you walk, slowly, you get there–surely.
Yes, I feel like I am being left behind by my friends who has works now. But, I know I will have mine too. In the right environment, right time and situation. And as my “mantra”, I won’t let my heart be troubled by this.
“ I took you from the ends of the earth,
from its farthest corners I called you.
I said, ‘You are my servant’;
I have chosen you and have not rejected you.
So do not fear, for I am with you;
do not be dismayed, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you and help you;
I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”