I clearly remember. January 24. When I blogged that I wanted to back in that cross-road and take another path. That I wanted and needed a one more chance with life. Guess what, my prayer just got answered but this time, the crossroad is a different path. A different situation. One to detour and one to move forward with same direction but a different path and another to a whole new different world. If only I knew things will get this worst in choosing direction, I should have not wished. But I guess, this is it. The end of the road for something and a time to choose where to go.
I know I sound vague, maybe I am just making it a metaphorical post because the issue is too sensitive. As sensitive as a brain? Well, not quite but as sensitive of my life. It’s one stress point of my life and just this morning, I was in the bus contemplating and thinking over and over again. And look at me—it just sapped every positive vibes inside me, that even my health I can’t manage too. I feel sick already—my cough is still there and I feel like I need a bed for I’m starting to feel hot. Literally.
Everything just gets into my system right now and I think I’m over thinking things. I hate myself for that two reasons: One, I always over think things because I don’t want to fail and secondly, I am a person who escapes from my problems as much as I can. And the moment I realized I have to face it, I over think. Haha! A cycle of my poor resistance to problem.
Sooner or later, I have to face these things in front of me. I may fail in my quest and have some regrets or I may succeed. Who knows? And no matter what happens to me, I know there are people who will be my support and my God who won’t judge me for all my bad decisions in life.