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Disturb me, O Lord.

I was holding a big bible this morning, a favor my ex-roommate has asked me: to bring her over-sized bible to the office today from our dorm room. I feel so disturbed since yesterday so, I decided to make my life easy by riding an air-conditioned bus, plugged my ear phones to listen to worship songs that I know will calm my spirit. There I sat, holding my blazer and the bible. Afterwards, I opened it to read just a few text and the version of NKJ made me smile for I kind of liked it. But, in that short travel from my temporary house to the office, I felt even more disturbed and I’m writing this because I don’t know who to share this feelings with.

It’s just a two page Old testament book, but nonetheless I felt not just disturbed but shaken. It made me realize some little detail in my life. And although it made a lot of questions in my mind regarding my decisions, I still felt peace and comfort and all the more, love.

Being here in the office since 7:40am, and still that little bus ride reading bugs my mind like a fly that doesn’t like to leave me alone. In my “little” contemplation earlier, I remembered a poem. I don’t know where I read this but this defines what raging feelings I have right now. I changed the “we” to “I” and “us” to “me”. The original title is, “Disturb us, O Lord” by Francis Drake

Disturb Me, O Lord.

Disturb me, Lord, when
I am too pleased with myself,
When my dreams have come true
Because I dreamed too little,
When I arrived safely
Because I sailed too close to the shore.

Disturb me, Lord, when
With the abundance of things I possess
I have lost our thirst
For the waters of life;
Having fallen in love with life,
I have ceased to dream of eternity
And in my efforts to build a new earth,
I have allowed our vision
Of the new Heaven to dim.

Disturb me, Lord, to dare more boldly,
To venture on wilder seas
Where storms will show Your mastery;
Where losing sight of land,
I shall find the stars.

I ask You to push back
The horizons of myhopes;
And to push back the future
In strength, courage, hope, and love.

This I ask in the name of myCaptain,
Who is Jesus Christ.

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