My first day in August. I don’t know but suddenly, I felt my energy drain. As if every hope I have in my body flushed out.
These past few days, I’ve been– Well, how can I say it? I’ve been looking for my “old self”, I don’t know how to do that. I’m not even sure if I can. I even looked through old blogs, pages and accounts. And in some unexpected and odd way, I managed to get back. But today, I suddenly felt the recent me is creeping to my bones.
And it just made me realized now. This recent me who everyone wants to put off is full of hurt, her heart is too… wounded. There are many factors that contributed but that made me gloomy, sad, insecure of all things, paranoid and a negative-feeling magnet.
So maybe I can’t run from this and I cannot live in the past. All I can do is to get that girl inside me show and let God heal the many wounds of my heart–to surrender everything to Him. My pasts, my hurts, my deep wounds, my dark deeds. Because He can never heal me when I don’t give him everything.
Peace of heart. Peace of Mind.