Personal

There is no such thing as a “Beautiful Nightmare”.

Bad dreams come but it’s not every night that it happens as a dream within a dream. And in my case, I woke up twice: one in my dream then something strange happened to me that I woke up in reality screaming on my bed.

Last night, when I realized it was all an illusion, I prayed, played music and then contacted a person. The first thought I had was: I want to be with someone. But I was alone then in my dorm room instead. I am even 0.000001% close on asking my co-tenant, marketing friend to accompany me in my room. But I didn’t because that would be weird for he’s a guy and I’m a girl. So I just lay on my bed and eventually cried.

I did cry not just of the bad dream but the thought of having no one to be there. I badly wanted to go home that it if it’s not 11pm, I would pack my things and run. I got so homesick in one night versus the whole two years of being alone all together.

I even remembered when I was in high school; I had a phase wherein I had series of bad dreams every night. And when I woke up, I would go to my sister’s bed and stuck myself beside her even if her bed’s a single. She was so annoyed but it’s only then I get to sleep well again. That’s what I missed, that’s why I cried. I badly wanted someone to hold on to after a shocking bad dream for it is like it when you’re at home. There is someone for you.

I know it sounds lame, crying. But I did until all the sadness went away and peace went back.

The only thing I can grasp last night is the promise of God that He’s there and I shall no fear. The comforting thought accompanied me and made me strong. Courageous, even. It made me feel less alone than I actually was.

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